Have you ever left a conversation feeling unsettled, like something just got rewritten in front of you? You brought up something that you know happened, but the other person insisted your version of events wasn’t real. If that experience keeps happening, it can make you question your memory, your reactions, and even your sanity.
In this series, we’ve already explored how projection can shape manipulative dynamics and damage your mental health. Gaslighting builds on that idea in a different way, and understanding it can help you feel more grounded and less alone.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that works to distort your sense of reality, and it’s not a secret weapon. Many people use it against others. In 2017, Huffington Post wrote about how gaslighting occurs during communication, where the other person dismisses your experience or suggests something is wrong with you.
If that person is trying to maintain control over you, they may repeatedly gaslight you, weakening your trust in your own thoughts, perceptions, and feelings.
From a more scientific perspective, research from a 2024 study on gaslighting in early adulthood describes the tactic as a form of psychological violence that can appear in romantic relationships, but it’s possible in all sorts of relationships. And every time, it often involves behaviors that confuse, intimidate, and destabilize the other person.
Who Gaslights?
According to that same 2024 study, people who struggle with low empathy, impulsivity, emotional instability, and poor self-reflection skills may be more prone to gaslighting others.
Those types of people may frequently:
- Seem affectionate but avoid real emotional closeness: They may act caring while dismissing your feelings or rewriting events.
- Present as supportive and reasonable: They may subtly shift conversations and avoid accountability while protecting their image.
- React sharply or feel unpredictable: They may rely on criticism, mood shifts, or control to keep you off balance.
These traits don’t guarantee someone will behave this way, but the research suggests they may increase the likelihood of manipulative dynamics.
Are There Different Types of Gaslighting?
That 2024 study—which builds on work from 2007—outlines three common patterns of gaslighting. Each one may look different, even though they all center on control and distortion.
- Glamour gaslighting. This often begins with praise, attention, and affection. The person may make you feel valued while quietly dismissing your concerns or rewriting events. For example, someone who avoids emotional depth but seems devoted might deny saying something hurtful because they care too much about you to do something like that. Because they often appear caring, you may question your own memory.
- Good-guy gaslighting. This can feel subtle. The person may appear supportive while guiding conversations in ways that protect their image and meet their needs. You might raise a concern, and they respond with reassurance that shifts focus away from their behavior. Their tone may leave you unsure if your concern was valid.
- Intimidator gaslighting. This tends to feel more direct. The person may criticize, dismiss, or react harshly, then later deny or minimize their behavior. For instance, someone might respond to you with rage or ridicule and later tell you that you’re overreacting. This can leave you questioning what actually happened.
Even though these patterns differ, they share a common goal. Each one can distort your reality and make it harder to trust yourself.
What Are the Effects of Gaslighting on Mental Health?
Gaslighting can become a form of psychological violence, affecting your mental health gradually until it ultimately builds up to confusion, heightened stress, trauma, and any of the following issues:
- Anxiety: You may feel constantly on edge and unsure of what’s real.
- Depression: The ongoing emotional strain can lead to sadness or low energy.
- Low self-esteem: Repeated doubt may cause you to question your worth.
- Self-doubt: You might stop trusting your memory and instincts.
- Psychosis: In rare and extreme situations, prolonged distress from gaslighting may contribute to more severe psychotic symptoms.
How to Protect Yourself From Gaslighting
To push back against gaslighting, you can try out a few different steps for grounding and affirming yourself:
- Keeping a diary where you write down exactly what happens throughout each and every day, especially when spending time with the gas lighter
- Talking to someone trustworthy who can help validate and ground you
- Confirm real facts by checking with witnesses who may have been present during a conflict or an event that the gaslighted is denying
- Enter therapy with a trained psychologist who can help evaluate the situation and provide support in finding a solution
Resist Gaslighting and Reclaim Your Mental Health in Wisconsin
Gaslighting slowly reshapes how you see your reality, your memories, and yourself, making it deeply destabilizing and even traumatizing. You can begin to push back by documenting your own experiences and leaning on people who can genuinely confirm what you’ve lived through.
If you’re navigating the negative impacts of gaslighting, Miramont Behavioral Health in Waukesha, Wisconsin, contact us to begin rebuilding trust in yourself with mental health services and support.
